Monday, 23 May 2011

A poem for my newish Samsung Galaxy S

Samsung Galaxy SHow do I hate thee?

Let me count the ways.

I hate the way you downloaded all my Facebook, GMail and Twitter contacts to my phone's contacts without asking; even every single email address I've emailed before rather than just my saved GMail contacts.

I hate the way I spent literally hours cleaning up your bs auto-downloaded contacts to exclude those Facebook weirdos I'm only friends with out of courtesy or laziness to clean up my list, and those GMail addresses I once sent an email to, only to have you recopy ALL OF THEM when my husband accidentally enabled auto-sync. I hate that the only way to stop you doing this would have been to let you delete them from my GMail and Facebook accounts.

I hate that I can't permanently disable auto-sync.

I hate the way your morning alarm works. I hate that I can't have the "smart alarm" AND have it set to vibrate without playing a melody. I hate that I can't seem to have the snooze function work without a smart alarm.

I hate the way you beep and light up when you're done charging. Because of your poor battery life I have to charge you every night, and because I haven't got quite fed up enough to stop using you as an alarm clock I charge you by my bedside table. Cue getting woken up every night in the wee hours when your battery is full.

I hate the disconcerting way you become uncomfortably hot during Skype calls (I can't say I've noticed it with normal calls).

I hate the way you display sms recipients and senders in my call log, and that there's no obvious way to switch this off. Do you have any idea how many key presses and finger scrolls it takes to just find the last or second last person I called? One button on my last phone. ONE.

I hate the way that if my friend's number isn't in exactly the right place in the contact, even though I definitely have their number saved against one of the five joined accounts linked to their name, you refuse to tell me it's them that called me or smsed me, and I can't even add their number to a new sms I'm composing.

I hate the way you seemed to magically turn yourself off of Silent mode in church on Sunday, treating the whole congregation to my adorable "Pac Man dying" sms notification tone. I know I switched you to silent, so don't try and convince me I didn't.


Look, so you're quite technologically cool, and your screen and processor and stuff is up there with the other great smartphones. And I love the connectedness of having Skype and Facebook and Twitter right there. But really? I'm hoping some things improve when I upgrade you to Gingerbread, but I am not getting my hopes up too high, either.

Not a lot of love,


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